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30.4.06

so tread softly, for you tread on my dreams.

i have only recently begun to realise how tremendously incredulously immensely fortunate i've been all along. i mean, i do know i've always been fortunate, and am thankful for that. u guys know that. but i guess its only when u've been through shit, that the full magnitude of how blessed u actually were begins to dawn on u.
i thank my parents, for always being on the lookout for me, even though i sometimes find it irksome. i thank my brother, for his nonsense, for the special bond and connection and telepathy (which is most probably why we always win pictionary). i thank the ecg, for the sleepless stayover nights, for the heartfelt thoughts, for the adventurous spirits, and for creating special moments. i thank my church frens, for jus being great ppl to spend late nights out wif, for fun joy laughter and teases, for being annoyingly entertaining, for twisting my words, for the scandals, for the auntying, for late night phonecalls, for prayers, for updates so i still feel a sense of belonging to occ, and most importantly for godly advice gently delivered when necessary or lashed out when i refuse to wake up from my reverie, and for just lending a listening ear and holding out even when i need to be reprimanded on other occasions (special thanks goes to tjow for his 'i need to prepare you for australia, so now.. DRINK' ;p). i thank my rg clique, for not giving up on the friendship we hav, for keeping in touch all these yrs (we must take a trip down to hk to visit yiting soon). i thank the frens i've made in australia, for making me grow so fond of u guys after such a short while, for helping me to feel so at home in this foreign land. i thank the ocf peeps, for the christian fellowship outside my home church. i thank my cousins, for being the best cousins one can have. i thank the smu peeps, for the occasional random chatter, for being dods :) i thank a friend i've never really known, but have found some kindredness in, in recent days..

the list could go on, but thats the main gist. i will rmb and take away all lessons i can bear from this episode in my life. things happen for a reason and we just have to make the best out of it.

ps. i do really prefer muffins over doughnuts any day. i din manage to get one today unfortunately, even tho i went shopping in the city. but i dont worry. good things will come to those who are willing to wait.

i fluttered by;
11:34 PM
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28.4.06

an attempt to recreate the food we miss.

yummi-licious!!
ps. durian is really really rare. i was overjoyed to find out that my craving for it would now be shortened to.. 8 months? :)

i fluttered by;
3:16 PM
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27.4.06

a trip down to the beach.

yeps i know it's crazy to go down to the beach in late autumn but to the beach my cell group did head last sun. we started our day at 6am and it was a 3 hr drive down to wilsons promontory national park for some hiking and chilling (literally) on the beach, but i must say it was all worth it in the end.

the view from the top of the hill we hiked up was fabulous. the clouds soon came in though (that part was quite amazing too as we watched the whole view before us slowly being engulfed) and we found ourselves walking back down through fog/mist. it kept raining intermittently throughout the whole day tho but that didnt dampen our spirits (i think we were all kinda used to the fact that melb's weather is jus unpredicatable). we headed to the beach where we still continued to play touch rugby/captain's ball/soccer despite the cold. i must say that one privilege of going to the beach during winter is the fact that there is almost no one there. no crowd + the whole view of the untainted beach. quite a sight. was reluctant to take off my shoes at 1st - because of the cold - but then i relented. afterall, how can one go to the beach n not feel the sand under his/her feet?! my extremities became numb quickly though and soon we were scaling boulders on the sides of the bay without even feeling the roughness of the rocks abrading our hands and feet. just roughing it out eh. how cool.

the mist engulfing the view
we even had our bbq on the beach. set up a portable bbq top amongst the boulders to block out the wind. most of us were shivering, but i must say the food was awesome despite the cold.
poor guy, the tide came in too fast and he got stranded on the rock!! but check out the sunset :)
we caught sight of a few wild animals too. kangaroos, wombats, irritating possoms and seagulls. i think if it hadnt been raining we would have gotten to see more (animals can sometimes be smarter than humans and know when to hide away from the rain and cold). but what was most spectacular was the NIGHT SKY. whoa. there was a huge spread of stars that day. so much so i think God was being extremely generous and giving us extra servings :) the milky way was sooo sooo pretty, what with it being all bright and clear. yet still retaining its myseterious stature all at the same time. we identified the southern cross that lay on the milky way, and also the orion. too bad none of us really knew astronomy, if not i bet we could have pointed out a few more. nonetheless, it was sufficient for me to just admire the twinkles, because of the mere fact that it was THAT splendid. stood there gazing upward for a pretty long time. just. simply. awestruck.
well i guess the whole day had been quite an experience (not to mention it was a great time of bonding for my cell). i rmb my coach always said that we must be in control of the elements ie. the weather, but now i realised that another way to deal with it is to just brace it. YOU ARE STRONGER THAN U THINK U ARE ;p

i fluttered by;
10:26 PM
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26.4.06

my stakeholder tutorial.

a bit of background: in monash we have this tutorial where real ppl from all walks of life come to talk to us about their experiences with the medical profession related to the module we were currently studying eg. culture, access, position. they may be healthcare professionals, ppl from statutory boards, related organisations, patients, their caretakers etc.
disclaimer: now, what u read may be traumatising but it is a true life account. it serves to reminds us not to take others too lightly, and for me personally - to strive to be the best doctor i can in more ways than one. we need to detach ourselves from our patient in order to not treat/help from a biased viewpt (which is why it is too emotionally distressing to conduct surgery on ur relatives) but we still, need to know when we have to let use our heart over our brain.
acknowledgements: harold's blog http://thelight85.blogspot.com/ mon april 10 2006 entry.


Her Story
I know I've talked about this to you Ethan..and I do understand where you are coming from..but just let me be emotional and unreasonable for once here..Let me vent whatever I have in my heart on this blog..
This pleasant 83 year old lady came into the lecture theatre, saying how lucky she was to be able to meet up and talk to young people like us...She calls us the people of the future..She knows that all of us are going to be doctors in the future..and she tells us that we have to be considerate, kind, and we must help people..and she started tearing..She tells us that our hearts have to be kind and good..And after some coaxing from our tutor, she began to tell us the story of how she and her husband were treated at the hospital..
Her husband had a really bad cough years ago...and one day he coughed so hard that the capillaries in the retina burst and he bled into the back of his eye...He was sent to hospital and after the doctor had a look at him...He said that he would become blind if his bleeding continued...Her husband had a heart condition..and he was prescribed warfarin to prevent clotting...so it was harder for the bleeding in the eye to stop..and to save the eye, they had to take him off warfarin..It was a huge risk for the doctor for saving his eye could possibly cost him his life..What would you choose in this situation?Save his eye?Or protect his heart?His sight means everything to him...After living for 70+ years of seeing evrything that he loved, what would it be if you chose to protect his heart instead of his life?In fact, it would be torturous for him..Yes you did him a favour by preserving his life...But you have just damned him into a lifetime of eternal darkness until the day he dies...Are you able to live with that?After much persistence from her, the doctor finally decided to take him off warfarin to save his sight..
Later on in the life of her husband, he suffered a heart attack while driving...The moment he felt sick, he pulled over by the side, walked out of the car, lay down by the pavement, and managed to tell one lady to call the ambulance just before he passed out..Interesting huh?The human's basic instinct to want to survive..While he was being rescued by the medical team, she was sitting there in the corridor..She told the nurses that if there was any information they needed, what he likes to eat, how he would like to be treated etc..she would be in the corridor..But everyone just ignored her...The medical team continued to do what they thought was right..and she sat there...being thought of as a nuinsance...That she was in the way of what the medical team was doing...Is this the kind of respect we give to the elderly?They may not know anything about medicine....but they do know one thing best...that the patient is her husband..and is a human being...not just a heart that just been through a myocardiac infarction...
He was being sent to the ICU after the operation and she wanted to sit there next to him...She wanted to be with him..but the nursing staff were distraught..."She cannot be there!!She'll interfere with our work!!What good is it gonna do with her sitting there?"For heaven's SAKE...CANT YOU JUST LET THE ELDERLY COUPLE WHO HAVE BEEN MARRIED FOR 56 YRS BE TOGETHER?Damn those nurses who uttered those harsh words...What if you were in her shoes?What would you feel?I dare to put my life on the line to say that none of you would take it easy and say "Oh..the nursing staff are excellent here...they'll take gd care of him..." because you are damn F***ing heartless if you say that...In the beginning, I've always thought of the world as a warm and nice place to live in..but hearing such stories just makes rips my heart into many many pieces...What has this world come to?But still, I'd cling to that thought like a 4 yr old child clings onto his sleeping blanket...Its only helps to make this world easier to live in..that there is still hope in this cold cold environment..
How about put yourself in the shoes of her husband?You find out sth's wrong with you, then you try to find help to survive..Then after a period of unconsciousness you wake up, disorientated, in a foreign environment with tubes all over your body and not a single familiar face around...how would you feel?Lonely?Vulnerable?Lost?Whatever...The ICU staff didnt care at all...She was allowed to stay only after a doctor ordered the nurses to..the nurses there didnt manage to get her out of there..so they did sth different..they were mean to her...
Life went on in the ICU and all dignity was stripped from her husband..he wasnt allowed to do anything...however,one fine day, he asked whether he could shave himself..at that point, he was blind (for some reason she didnt mention..)...in no way would anyone allow him to do tt..but one kind-hearted nurse allowed it...she brought a mirror and a shaver...and he took it...and started shaving..except tt he wasnt looking at the mirror...well..the nurses' face turned into varying shades of white as he proceeded to the neck area etc...but in the end, he managed to shave himself w/o cutting himself..proving that he wasnt useless at all..CHEW ON THAT YOU PEOPLE!!!
One day in the ICU, his pulmonary artery ruptured..and he bled into his chest cavity...Blood pressure dropping..Heart rate is irregular...He's breathless and in suffering...and in those last moments..he said, "Goodbye my dear..." She cried...In the operating theatre, his blood spurted evrywhere...he needed litres of blood poured into him through his veins...and the surgeons managed to save him..but he had to be put on life support...After the medical team analysed the situation, they reckoned that he would be a vegetable for life...and then they told her that they are going to switch off the life support...56 years of being husband and wife..and she was going to lose him just like that...She begged for them not to turn off life support...She said, "When we took our marriage oath, we swore to be together in good and in bad times...I dont want you to flick that switch..." She cried again..and she made me tear too...That was how much he mattered to her..It struck a chord deep in my heart...It made me tell myself I should not be as heartless as them, life should not be taken lightly...
So he was left on life support...and one night, the nurse went off for a break in the cafeteria and another nurse stood in for her..then the nurse went around to do what was routine..and when she came to her husband, she took a syringe filled with Novocain and wanted to inject it into his tubes..She stopped the nurse from giving it to him...telling her that it will kill him..The nurse insisted that she knows what she's doing and she will not be killing him...The old lady then reminded her to check his papers and across the top of the page it was clearly written that he is allergic to Novocain, and pleaded to her not to give him the injection..The nurse was adamant and then again said that she knows what she is doing....Then the nurse told her that she didnt know anything about medicine...WHAT A MEAN REMARK TO MAKE TO HIS WIFE!!!I hate her I-know-it-all attitude...Luckily for her, a doctor and a nurse came in on time to see the commotion and her husband was spared from a possible anaphylactic shock that could end his life...And words reverberated in my head..it was what i heard while watching House MD..."In medicine we do not just screw up a patient...We make a mistake, people die...If you cant handle that thought then go choose another profession..."
However, that wasnt all...she went to complain to her colleagues..and then the next day..all the nurses were against her....WHAT AUDACITY!!! And when that wasnt enough to chase her away from the ICU, the nurse went on to complain to the doctor...I cant believe that we have such people in this noble profession...
Luckily for her, many specialists attended to her case..and the best around Melbourne were called to come and help...and eventually, his life was saved...He's still here today...talking to another group, in another lecture theatre..And very happy with his wife's decision...
This story made me realise that there are far more important things in life than what we are concerned about now...BGR, groceries, exams, studies...I'm sorry my dear...i'll have to admit that I might have more feelings for the patient than i have feelings for you...i wont blame you if you choose to leave me if you feel that i do not have space in my life for you...please understand that this is what i chose medicine for..i cant always be there for you...when my duty calls..i'll go to wherever i'm needed..and that is the same reason why i told you that you have to be stronger in will...
This story struck me hard...so hard i cldnt concentrate during that last lecture...Its not just about how cold this world is..The thing that strikes me the hardest is that THOSE DAMNED THOUGHTS THAT THE NURSES HAD....I HAD THEM TOO WHEN I WAS A MEDIC....I had that same uncaring attitude when I was overwhelmed by the multitudes of people who came to seek medical attention...I feel so damn guilty now.. =(

i fluttered by;
6:16 PM
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24.4.06

for fel :)

here u go gal.. the song and its lyrics. enjoy :)
:: Bizzare Love Triangle ::
Frente


Every time I think of you
I get a shot right through into a bolt of blue
It’s no problem of mine but it’s a problem I find
Living a life that I can’t leave behind
There’s no sense in telling me
The wisdom of a fool won’t set you free
But that’s the way that it goes
And it’s what nobody knows
And every day my confusion grows
Every time I see you falling
I get down on my knees and pray
I'm waiting for that final moment
You’ll say the words that I can’t say
I feel fine and I feel good
I feel like I never should
Whenever I get this way, I just don’t know what to say
Why can’t we be ourselves like we were yesterday
I’m not sure what this could mean
I don’t think you’re what you seem
I do admit to myself
That if I hurt someone else
Then we’d never see just what we’re meant to be
Every time I see you falling
I get down on my knees and pray
I’m waiting for that final moment
You’ll say the words that I can’t say

i fluttered by;
7:26 PM
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20.4.06

this is what you do when u're overseas.

1. cook your dinner.
2. split it into 2 portions.
3. eat one for dinner.

4. pack the other half for lunch the next day.

tada! then u feel super accomplished that u settled 2 meals at a go.

my mum's easter card. <3

incoming parcel, stamps aplenty!


i fluttered by;
9:18 PM
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18.4.06

COOLcamp'06

C.O.O.L stands for [City of Our Lord]
" For he was looking forward to the city with foundations, whose architectand builder is God. "
Hebrews 11:10
easter camp has been a really great blessing. so glad i went. there were sermons and workshops. and the workshops (tho almost like mini sermons) were so rewarding i think this shld be introduced in occ camps next time! the difference is that u get to chose which one u wan to go for, and that means it's probably gg to be most applicable in your life, hence the great take-home message. i chose one headed as 'case for christ' based on the bk wif the same title and another one headed 'leadership - surviving the leadership race'.

for the benefit of all u leaders out there, here are the notes:
- christian leadership is eternal, a lifelong process (tho some say even longer than life itself - if u noe what i mean)
- the 360degrees leader: lead ppl above you, below you, ur peers and urself
- how to survive the race (and prevent burnout): [hebrews 12:1-3]
  1. throw off everything that hinders and every sin that entangles us: notice running shorts dun hav pockets? we run with as little as possible, you cant finish the race with baggage. and sin has consequences, the biggest being that it stops US from coming close to God - we feel dirty and unworthy (it doesnt stop God coming to us tho, thankfully). use james 5:16. unforgiveness makes it hard for us to minister/lead as it undermines the foundation of love. also, we have to throw out other things that hinder us (not necessarily sin eg. stress, laziness, worry, apathy).
  2. run with PERSEVERANCE the race MARKED OUT FOR US: we each have our OWN specific race to run, God's specific plan for us. leadership is about playing YOUR part in YOUR race. stop meddling or criticizing others running their race, focus on urs. God always wants the best for us, leadership is for your own benefit. so dont complain or reluctantly serve God cos u think thats what you're compelled to do. God can actually handle everything Himself. in addition, if we miss our race, we miss its blessings+lessons, and others will jus fill in for us.
  3. fix our eyes on Jesus: dont lose focus, we need God-led revelation, not inspiration, since not every good idea may be a God idea. busy-ness is what is preventing most churches from growing these days.
  4. know that the race is not going to be easy: 1 peter 1: 6-7, God is more concerned about our character than our comfort. so while we know that the process is painful and tiring, let us rejoice for we know the sense of satisfaction at the finishing line
  5. know that Jesus did it 1st for us: leadership comes with a cost, a price to pay

ok, apart from the above mentioned, on one ocassion they also split us up according to our genders and gave us sermons in different halls. the guy's one headlined the book 'wild at heart' while the gals did 'captivating'. the speaker delivered the 6 pts to being a beautiful radiant woman of God and a princess warrior for Him. not going to elaborate much so that the guys out there wun know our 'secret' but yes, i'm definitely empowered by the message. it touched on the big R and it made me realise that many a time, we forget that Jesus is the ultimate lover.

i am so not going to be an 'old shrivelled up prune' :p

met dear xiuhua! its a small small world :)
COOLfest (talent time): UV lights hype the mood
[more pics coming up]

below is one of the songs sung during COOLfest.
it's a reminder of what the Lord did for each and every one of us on gd friday,
as seen through the eyes of an innocent little child.
it touched my heart so much, i teared.
Nichole Nordeman//Why

We rode into town the other day
Just me and my Daddy
He said I'd finally reached that age
And I could ride next to him on a horse
That of course was not quite as wide

We heard a crowd of people shouting
And so we stopped to find out why
And there was that man
That my dad said he loved
But today there was fear in his eyes

So I said "Daddy, why are they screaming?
Why are the faces of some of them beaming?
Why is He dressed in that bright purple robe?
I'll bet that crown hurts Him more than He shows
Daddy, please can't you do something?
He looks as though He's gonna cry
you said He was stronger than all of those guys
Daddy, please tell me why
Why does everyone want Him to die?"

Later that day the sky grew cloudy
And Daddy said I should go inside
Somehow he knew things would get stormy
Boy was he right
But I could not keep from wondering
If there was something he had to hide
So after he left I had to find out
I was not afraid of getting lost
So I followed the crowds
To a hill where I knew men had been killed
And I heard a voice come from the cross

And it said, "Father, why are they screaming?
Why are the faces of some of them beaming?
Why are they casting their lots for My robe?
This crown of thorns hurts Me more than it shows
Father, please can't You do something?
I know that You must hear My cry
I thought I could handle the cross of this size
Father, remind Me why
Why does everyone want Me to die?
When will I understand why?"

"My precious Son, I hear them screaming
I'm watching the face of the enemy beaming
But soon I will clothe You in robes of My own
Jesus, this hurts Me much more than You know
But this dark hour I must do nothing
Though I've heard Your unbearable cry
The power in Your blood destroys all of the lies
Soon You'll see past their unmerciful eyes
Look there below, see the child
Trembling by her father's side
Now I can tell You why
She is why You must die"

i fluttered by;
1:36 AM
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17.4.06

sweet.

the following departure photos are long overdue. i cant be blamed for not posting them up sooner, because i've only just gotten it from a certain SOMEONE -cough, cough- who has been doing noth.. erms recuperating at home for over a month. haha :) that said, at least it did get to me eventually.

btw i say overdue, because they are definitely not outdated. i still think of u guys really often, and i cant begin to say how much i miss all of u. they say u can count the number of true friends u have by seeing who turns up to send u off, and that i find really true. for that, i thank the 30 odd bunch of u - the ppl whom i can trust, whom i have weathered the storms, and busked in the sunshine with. we've built each other up, we've given each other listening ears and comforting words, we've said silent prayers for one another. basically, these are the ppl who really make my day (and then make it unbearingly miserable too, to have to say goodbye).

church kakis!! miss u miss u miss miss u!

rg/rj frens

[xueting shimin i'm missing ur pics!!]

the ecg

smu frens

my dearest family (dad was in melb already then)

i wonder though, how many of these very same ppl would still be seeing me off the 2nd, 3rd, 4th.. time i depart. the litmus test for the truest of frens? lets jus wait n see ;)

its a saturday night. the thing thats depressing bout saturday nights is that you dun realise how much u miss youth service until u log into msn and see no one on ur church frens category online - because they're all at church. then u go about reading ppls blogs cos theres fewer ppl to chat to, and somehow all ur church frens are blogging about the upcoming church camp which u cant go to. *sniffs. lifes a slippery slope.

ahh but just hang in there. because here's the trade off. i went for ocf (overseas christian fellowship) yesterday. had worship, then we split up for bible study in a smaller grp. it felt so much like cellgrp back at singapore! felt so at home i'm gg to attend it every fri. really thank God that i got introduced to this rj senior who suggested i try this out.

not to mention during the meeting yesterday they also jio-ed me to go for ocf easter camp. its similar to church camp (and i'm told the outsourced speaker's gd)!! moreover, i'll be meeting xiuhua there cos shes gg too! what a small world. and it also means that i wun be suffering too badly from unable-to-go-for-occ-church-camp withdrawal symptoms that much too i guess :) btw, tjow if u need help for publicity.. u noe who to beep :) i'm sure i could still do poster designing or offer a few brainchilds from over here ;p

oh yar! n the ecg's coming over to visit me in july!! its more than confirmed. i cant cant cant wait!! we get to fulfil our long awaited backpacking trip. tho i'll hardly b backpacking and will hav to assume the role of a tourguide. hope i do a gd job :)




- written on the 8th of april (a saturday of course),
late posting due to technical errors


i fluttered by;
10:09 PM
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13.4.06

a quick post.

ok i better make this a quick post cos i shld be studying now. went chadstone today n i got my ipod cover! hopefully no more scratches from now on. wah but guess what, i saw this A$150 ipod cover, so tempted to buy cos it looked really nice (its by ipod of course - they're practically branding everything they can think of), but then it's so not me to throw away this kind of money. oh wells, maybe i'll think about it 2-3 yrs down the road when the one i have gets tattered and torn.
my other purchase was an easter egg. mum always used to buy me easter eggs but she couldnt this yr so she asked me to get one for myself - her treat! so sweet. hee so i got extravagant n bought this really nice easter egg to share with everyone.

we then did our weekly grocery shopping to whip up a fantastic dinner - cabbage soup, beef n chicken wrap, and char siew! there was so much food we're eating it (with abit of improvisation) for dinner tmr. and ling's the special guest! she'll get to sample our culinary skills :)

ok now. back to hitting the books. exams are in a wk's time. i'm slightly adrenal-ised, it's been more than a yr since i last sat for one. how will i fare? i really have no idea.

i fluttered by;
7:22 PM
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11.4.06

active faith.

"you have faith, and i have works; show me your faith without the works, and i will show u my faith by my works."
james 2:18

when my son karl was just a toddler, i would stand him up on the table and call for him to jump from the table into my arms. did karl believe i would catch him? yes. how did i know he believed? because he jumped. suppose he wouldnt jump. "do you believe i will catch u, karl?" i might coax, and he may nod yes, but if he never jumps, does he really believe that i will catch him? no. faith is active, not passive. faith takes a stand. faith makes a move. faith speaks up.

there are alot of christians who claim to have great faith in God but are spiritually lethargic and dont do anything. faith without action is not faith; it's dead, meaningless (james 2:17,18). if it isnt expressed, it isnt faith. in order to believe God and His Word, we must do what He says. if you don't do what He says, you don't really believe Him. faith and action are inseperable. sadly, one of the common pictures of the church today is of a group of people with an assumed faith but little action. we're thankful that our sins are forgiven and that Jesus is preparing a place in heaven for us, but we're basically cowering in fear and defeat in the world, just hanging on until the rapture. we treat the church as if it's a hospital. we get together to compare wounds and hold each other's hands, yearning for Jesus to come and take away.

the church is not a hospital; it's a military outpost under orders to storm the gates of hell. every believe is on active duty, called to take part in fulfilling the Great Commission (matthew 28:19,20). thankfully the church has an infirmary where we can minister to the weak and wounded, and that ministry is necessary. but our real purpose is to be change agents in the world, taking a stand, living by faith, and accomplishing something for God. you can say you believe God and His Word. but if you are not actively involved in His plan, are you really a mature believer?

by neil anderson
[daily in christ]


i fluttered by;
8:36 PM
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9.4.06

hillsong conference... here i come!!

3rd to 7th july.
evenings, 4.30-7.45pm.
there were many many electives to choose from, and i was deliberating between these 3:
YOUTH PASTORS & LEADERS We live in an ever changing world, and reaching the youth generation requires commitment, insight, and understanding... Join the Hillsong Youth ministry team and special guests as we share strategies to passionately reach out to this generation, raise up leaders and shape the future of the Church.
WORSHIP LEADERSHIP As praise, worship and creativity is unleashed from the hearts and lives of people all over the earth, the areas of leadership, character development and critical lifestyle disciplines are fundamental to the longevity and significance of seeing people's dreams established. This elective is packed full of teaching from the finest leaders, which we truly believe will serve you and your church teams at this critical time in history. We can't wait to see you!
CREATIVE DESIGN As Solomon built an incredible temple for God, stir up in your congregation a passion to see His House in its finest! We have seen creative design add exciting displays, vibrant atmosphere and ideas to Church life. The Creative Design elective will be looking at using stage design, graphic design and all creative elements within the framework of a church.
ok stage design was a little off.. so guess what, i chose worship leadership. its been this fire tingling inside me all this while, and while i was keen to go for the youth leadership one.. the writeup itself about leadership, character development and lifestyle disciplines.. n the fact that i've been under the qian3 yi2 mo4 hua4 of ethan the shi1 fu4 made me feel that this was the one i shld go for. i din really hav much time to pray about it unfortunately (i had to sign up by today to qualify for the early bird discount), so i hope this IS what God wants for me.
anw, it isnt often that u get to do these kinds of things, so i'm sure its gg to be a great experience!! i cant wait!! not to mention i get to visit rach too!! was deciding to take a road trip up to sydney in july anw (i jus din noe whether to go this yr or next.. but was weighing the fact that i might b bogged down by work next yr), so now i have even more excuse. kill so many birds with one stone :) sounds like the perfect plan!!

i fluttered by;
9:59 PM
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5.4.06

oh bother.

u noe wat they say about melbourne having 4 seasons in a day? well, i'm here to say that its REALLY true. no contrasting opinions this time.

woke up to a relatively sunny day. was even contemplating whether to wear a skirt. luckily i decided against it. cos in the afternoon it turned really gloomy and started to rain! was at the campus centre so i had to run all the way to another building for the next lecture. the unfortunate thing was, i fell while running n thus soaked my jeans even more. stupid sandal la, no grip. wet jeans definitely dun feel gd. it started to rain again when we were halfway through walking back to halls. lucky for the gals, the ever so gentlemanly guys gave up their umbrellas and jackets for us. thanks guys! as feminist as i am, how can we survive without the guys man. or actually, more rightly put, we CAN survive without them, but maybe we'll jus be surviving. ;p

just read finish 'the solitaire mystery' by jostein gaarder, the author of 'sophies world'. these philosophical bks, are really imaginative and stimulating. i liked a few concepts in the bk, esp those tt left me in awe about the mind's capacity to create.

it is true, that if our brains were simple enough for us to understand, we would be so stupid we wouldnt be able to understand it after all. and that, ppl who are satisfied with what they know can never be philosophers.

i noe my ideas are jumping around cos i'm jus collating bits n pieces from the bk. but just chew on this. you think about a fren just before he calls u on the telephone or arrives on the doorstep. many ppl think this is a coincidence. but u think about this fren even if he doesnt ring the doorbell. moreover, he calls u quite often, without u having thot about him at all. the thing is, ppl collect those instances when both things happen at the same time and make a big hooha about it. now now, is it really THAT coincidental?

and heres another one. a russian cosmonaut and a russian brain surgeon were once discussing christianity. the brain surgeon was christian, but the cosmonaut wasnt. 'i hav been to outer space many times,' bragged the cosmonaut, 'but i've never seen any angels.' the brain surgeon stared in amazement, but then he said, 'and i hav operated on many intelligent brains, but i hav nver seen a single thought.'

as long as we are children, we have the ability to experience things around us. notice that children are always in awe about the world around them? but then we grow used to the world. living becomes a habit. to grow up is to get drunk on sensual experience. we shld never, never live like that.

i fluttered by;
2:45 PM
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3.4.06

a penny for ur thoughts?

if i had a penny for every thought i had, i think i would be rich by now.
i'm thinking,
boundaries dont keep people out, they fence you in. so you can waste your life drawing lines, or live your life crossing them.
i'm thinking,
if u're willing to take the chance, the view on the other side is spectacular.
i'm thinking,
why do interns hump on every dead person that comes through those doors?
for experience? ah, but no, theres smth more than that. its so that we can tell their family that we did everything we could.
i'm thinking,
what if you need to distrust someone in order to save them?
i'm thinking,
the thing people often forget is how good it can feel when you set secrets out in the open.
i'm thinking,
intimacy is a more sellable word for, here are my heart and soul, please grind them into hamburger and enjoy (ok i'm not really thinking; but u must admit it is quite a catches-ur-attention phrase). its both desired, and feared, difficult to live with, and impossible to live without.

(C) quotes from grey's anatomy


i fluttered by;
12:43 PM
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2.4.06

disclaimer!! i am NOT an alcoholic.

(see above)

pls lor. how can xin yi be termed an alcoholic?! after only 1 post?! was jus trying to record names of drinks for remembrance sake ;p haha but oh well, i noe too well to take u guys seriously already anw. what wif tjow and all his jisiao-ing that can even occur over the phone over hundreds of miles.

but it was great talking to u guys again! voices i havent heard for approx 2 mnths. the familiar voices i used to hear EVERY SINGLE WK WITHOUT FAIL!! so anw, everyone reading this - dl skype!! i cant always be calling!! but anw it was worth it. tjow definitely deserved my overseas birthday greeting :) i even got to sing happy birthday over the phone along wif u guys over in singapore. and a call during 'after church fellowship' meant that i get passed on and able to talk to so many ppl. whee! but if u havent noticed my nick, yeah there ARE certain negative post-chatting syndromes.

anw, check out this april fools' joke. andrew, i think this beats the prank u pulled on me! (which did succeed, but no matter, the revenge was carried out on abriel!! standtall power!! haha.) it's how professional! even got logo. whoa. but after reading to the end, u'll begin to realise how li2 pu3 it is!!

and on this fateful day, -smiles- the singapore med guys PLUCKED flowers to give us. cos they said that april fools' day was meant to b filled with surprises, but no one said it couldnt be pleasant. haha. true true. jus tt nobody really carried it out before, i guess. so this was a 1st :)
and oh this is long due, but since i was right in the heart of the commonwealth games '06 action, here's
the most brilliant display of vocals i've ever witnessed:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XNsrzw8T4U4

spectacular? the aerial view made it look unreal, somehow. and the fireworks display was dazzling, but even its magic was jus a mere sideshow - delta goodrem owned the centrestage. i bet the song tugged a few heartstrings too, if u listened closely to the words.
ok now its time again for some photos of our improving culinary skills. fruit salad with mango yoghurt was fab. bakuteh was not bad, but still not up to the standard of the authentic ones in singapore.
b4 mixing.

pics from previous potlucks. oooh the satay chicken was gd, look at the presentation.

childish jeff did this! its the exact replica of his face - including mole under the left side of the mouth!! (hmms jeff i wonder whether you really thinks ur eyes are elliptic! u think u're mickey mouse ah? ;p)

the 1st full rice meal i've cooked. looks gd rite. actually it tastes horrible (the only nice part was the rice). heh cos the meat was burnt and the vege sauce tasted wierd.

i get my servings of fruit always!! looks yummy eh. colours in abundance.

ps. i think i take great photos of food now too. some restaurant shld hire me for publicity la.


i fluttered by;
9:21 PM
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1.4.06

my day.

woke up early this morning to prepare for my debate. cant believe it. i think this is like the 1st time i'm actually able to wake up b4 sch starts to do work. i wonder where my motivation comes from. maybe from CERTAIN ppl mugging. -coughs- :) anw it was worth it. my team won! we shared the prize with the whole class.. truffles!! i jus luv my pcl tutor.

came back to the hostel because we had this long 3 hrs break b4 the next lesson. shared lunch wif melanie at my place, consuming yesterday's leftovers. jeff, u shld b proud. melanie comments tt ur beef rendang is fantastic! :)
anw check out this russell peter video, its hilarious!!
http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=-6802438413010363103&q=russell+peters
i watched the video with melanie, then headed back to the uni for our asepsis practical. was kinda fun, esp the part where we had to perform a hygienic handwash in 15 secs and inspect the 'cleanliness' of our hands under uv light. i liked gowning and gloving too, made me feel professional and boy, i just cant wait to step into the operation theatre for real.
[jeff's photo, cos i din take one] asepsis prac

headed to the city, namely melbourne uni, for a singhealth talk right after our prac. i felt it was useful, but surprised that the monash med singaporeans were the only yr 1s there. most of e ppl who attended the talk were yr 5s planning for their future career paths i guess. well, its no harm to be in the know.

had a great dinner after that at an italian restaurant on lygon street. the linguini mare monti i shared with jas was perfect! portions were big too so i was full and satisfied. but, i was somehow craving for some cake. was resisting the temptation (such that i will not evolve into a tree-trunk u noe) but later cracked when ethan so galantly treated us to delicious timtam cake!! spendid. a great dessert to end the great dinner :)
the rest had gelato but i figured that i had picked the lesser of 2 evils and decided to forgo it. besides, it was freezing cold and i think it would only be torturous for me to ingest foreign cold bodies in addition ;p oooh but the temptation was there. then again, no worries. i'll b back in the city in 2 days' time.
see why its tempting?!! this is one scoop, double flavour. i dunno bout u,
but it looks like 4 scoops to me. and its only A$3.70! cheaper than in singapore.

it was late and we took a train back to clayton but had to walk back from the train station. it was a long 45 min walk. in the cold. in the rain. yeps, these are some of the things u'll never do in singapore except when u're up for smth crazy, but down here i feel like its nothing out of the ordinary at all! lets jus hope i dun fall sick.

i fluttered by;
12:52 AM
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FOREWORD

You can't stop me from having a love affair with the written word.

ME

Xin Yi
5/10/1986
50 Recreation Road
To me


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