i wondered how a post would feel like if i were at blogger.com the whole day with just about time to type anything that sprung into my mind. and so here it is. (this is just about as disconnected as any post could get)
yay, another deal clinched.
listening to dance inside by the all-american rejects. ooh i like the intro. the background tune. n the drumbeat giving the suspended feeling. really catchy. lyrics wise.. hmmms. provocative. i usually like songs b4 i noe the lyrics. then when i do find out the lyrics, it either gets better or worse from there. just like everything else.
dad da bao-ed lunch for me. guo tiao yong tao foo dry. (yeps if u noe me i dun eat yellow noodles EXCEPT when its hokkien mee or wontan mian or duck mian for that matter) mmmm there really is a difference between the lunch da bao-ed by ur dad n ur colleagues. so much more love.. n filled with all the things i really like.
jus typed a really lengthy email to my frens. shld i post it here? nothing private anw.
subject: RE: drifting aimlessly in a deep blue sea
zhen ur title is like sooooo off it doesnt explain the contents of ur mail at all.. but anw i guess tts what u're feeling right now n no one did say explicitly that what u put in the subject title had to reflect the contents of the mail so i shant fault that. i guess mine would be 'real hard decisions' if i were to change the title. yeah. i dun even noe where to begin to start explaining. but zhen noes abit. u guys wanna noe can start probing her. but everythings so blurry (oh tts a song btw. a nice one in fact) now. guess mayb when things get abit clearer i'll share more wif ya guys. one thing i learnt tho. bliss usually comes with much emotional turmoil.
lol n u noe what. i foresee that e plan of visiting me when i get to know more lobangs BESIDES MELBOURNE is never going to work. because like u in nus, i'll be stuck at the hostel in monash with as little life as u have now la. no offense haha. but its the bitter hard truth. haha. and i dun rmb there being a trip to uk. hahahahah. ok i think i do. but that was when yilin was supposed to bring us around? now all she can do is bring us around nus. ok not even us. ME. n no. i dun wanna visit nus. but i do wanna visit U GUYS. (awww) mwahs.
haha u noe what. i think my mails quite random and full of impulse. the thing is i'm actually aware of it but i jus cant stop myself from typing all that. xin yi's changing. i noe that too. i jus cant stop it. and i havent even gone overseas! haha. i've been trying to rationalise it. mayb this is what a change in lifestyle does to ppl. esp when i've been studying for like what.. 12 yrs (we all have) and all of a sudden i dun have anything to study! not only that. last time when i wasnt studying i was mainly at home or at someone elses hse. (mainly zhens?) but yeah it was always a house. a home. now apart from working 5.5 days a wk i seem to be going out every other night. mayb its a phase. ppl wanna meet me for the last few times. but why then dun i get to meet ppl i really wanna meet?! *A VERY BIG HINT THERE =)
but mayb i havent changed deep inside. hopefully i will still b able to hit the bks when i need to. been trying to self improve by learning things like adobe photoshop n reading self help photography bks but i wonder when i can put it to use -coughs- which is why we need to go on a holiday together, haha further proves zhen's pt. i seem to be reading random articles on the net more frequently too. quite insightful, esp this one bout female circumcision. ouch. din noe such stuff still happens. yeah if u're interested i can give u e link. dun hav it now tho. n i jus wanted to shoot it off my head that i think u guys would be too bz anw. haha but i thought twice. but then it still came out. see. IMPULSE. haha.
anw zhen. u still have time to keep a hamster?! in ur hostel?! like dun u already have not enough time for urself n ur frens n family? keep me instead la. i dun care if i get caged up in ur hostel. at least i get to interact wif u everytime u come back. u can even bring me around. haha. oh n i get ur care n attention n devotion too. seems like a gd deal to me =) PLUS. u're worse than me la. u blurt out things that will NEVER happen. like me keeping a pup in australia. i think i'll have trouble taking care of myself alone. what more a pup which i have to toilet train n stuff! not to mention i presume hostels have this policy against pets.
anw.. SO WHEN ARE WE GOING TO GO OUT?! i dun really trust yilin's organisational skills leh. esp since she played us out the last outing!! haha. can u see i'm using reverse psychology? can u can u? k la yilin. u dun need me to resort to such tactics right. u CAN organise a decent outing RIGHT? hahahhaha. i wonder how much reverse psychology that did. but knowing her, i'd say she didnt care at all.
oh well. but anw i do wanna spend time wif u guys really soon. even jus a quiet stayover at someone's hse will do very well. rmb munching snacks over rented vcds and playing stupid board games n majong n jus simply chatting about anything and everything in our lives till we realise the suns rays are dawning on us again? i miss that ALOTTT. like alot alot.
love lots, a reminiscing xinyi
oh n its the last day of the month. so i just got my pay!!! din realise i actually worked for 2 wks already. time flies. and will continue to i guess.
urgh you'an u are super daoing me everytime online!! (ok la not really everytime. just 2 times. in 2 consecutive days) then u msg me to apologise. then i call u n u dun pick up! urgh then u shld have not msged in the 1st place. i cant count the no. of misses we've had on my fingers already. n actually i dun really think its a big deal. its jus that u've set THAT standard for urself already in the 1st place.
villa of mysteries is going to be nice. i can sense it. the storyline caught me right from chapter one. yeah i'm not slacking that much at work la. i merely blogged and read one chapter of my storybk. (AND typed that lengthy letter) oh well. my colleague is playing yahoo majong at her desk. she plays it everyday! i'm amazed that she's not sian.
ok its almost time to get off work. this marks the end of my post.
dad's not in the office!! usually even if he isnt he comes back to settle some stuff n we go home together. today he forgot bout me. he jus said so on the line wif me. sobs. looks like i gotta get home myself. from this ulu place. grrr.
just changed my tagboard. all thanks to tagboard eating up my archives. eating up my memories. urgh. i din know it did that. dun like that feeling at all. thot i still could access those previous tags somewhere at my tagboard account. oh well. cbox is better.
now i'm trying to rmb one thread where guys kept flooding my tagboard and my dearest tash came to my rescue! eh no. it was ravery flooding my tagboard and a few nice guys trying to help 'lower his percentage' but to no avail cos i wanted my galfrens to tag and finally tash came to my rescue!!! that was it. was it? see. i dun rmb clearly anymore. thats why i need archives. yeah pt proven.
oh but then again i DO rmb getting stitches after reading her tag and esp her self proclaimed HANDS OFF. SHE'S MINE. SCANDALLLL. haha. at least i rmb the impt parts ;p
mmm. what's it like to love someone wholeheartedly? i'm still learning.
was reading thursday's mind your body issue when i chanced upon this..
TOP TEN THINGS YOU DUN WANNA HEAR DURING SURGERY:
10. "Hand me that.. er.. that.. thingie." 9. "Hey, cool! Can you also make his leg twitch?" 8. "Has anyone every survived 750ml of this stuff?" 7. "Could you stop that thing from thumping? It's throwing my concentration off." 6. "What do you mean, he's not here for a sex change?" 5. "Um, is that thing supposed to be moving? Because I think it's going to choke the patient." 4. "Hang on - if this is his liver, then what's that?"
3. "You can't remember what he's in for? Oh well, let's surprise him." 2. "Accept this sacrifice, O Master of Darkness." 1. "Oops."
that concludes your daily dosage of THE best medicine. see... its so easy to be a doctor =)
i've found a 9-5 job. ok actually i didnt. it jus came knocking on my door. when's there ever such a gd deal?! heh. when my dad's office needs staff. one of his staff's gg on maternity leave. so i'm supposed to stand in for her for 2 mnths. cannot play play =( my dad even told me i have to take leave FROM HIM if i want to. and its a 5 1/2 day wk. guess that leaves me with even less time for everything else. i dun even noe whether i shld complain. i mean, i did want to find a 9-5 job right? did i? erms, i dun rmb. -innocent look- but this one's abit purpose defeating in my definition cos it doesnt give me that sense of satisfaction of earning ur own living. and u probably wun understand what i mean unless i tell u my dad's the kind who gives me money whenever i ask. like 'dad can i have 100 to pay for my driving test?' 'ok take 200.. eh no. take more. u din ask me for money for ur driving lessons.' 'er cos i had enough.' 'u paid for them urself right? nvm take 400.'
ok but i couldnt say no anw. he's my dad and its his company =)
'It could be anyone, anybody. Someone coming, going, living in our anonymous society. A member of the crowd, one of the silent majority. The one who cries out, sings and dreams within us all. This is the "quidam" that Cirque du Soleil is celebrating.
A young girl fumes; she has already seen everything there is to see, and her world has lost all meaning. Her anger shatters her little world, and she finds herself in the universe of Quidam. She is joined by a joyful companion as well as another character, more mysterious, who will attempt to seduce her with the marvelous, the unsettling, and the terrifying.'
i looovve cirque du soleil. they indeed have 'reinvented the circus'. every act is unique and special. every character is clearly defined and embodied. theres a theme running through the acts, threading them together delicately like a woven silk web. elaborate costumes, music and props, enhancing the mood. but what amazes me most is the creativity and ideas behind it, all well thought through, with time and effort materialising into success. yes, the breakthrough in creativity, its really amazing. jus watch one act, and the techniques used seem no different from one performed anywhere else. but yet, theres this extra oomph. i can hardly begin to describe it. but nonetheless, let me try. the 1st act i was really amazed at was this statues act i saw at 'mystere' (another of their shows - they currently hav 11 in total, of which 5 are resident shows). other statues act we've all seen b4 involved ppl assuming almost impossible balancing positions, and that is hard enough already. this one had them doing it soulfully in slow motion with hardly any trembling. what with the artistes being painted metallic, the effect was great, realistically statue-like. not to mention that it required even more skill on the artistes' part.
i have since never wanted to miss another cirque du soleil show. and yes, quidam hasnt disappointed me. i am truly inspired. have you ever wondered what life would be like if u were an artiste on a travelling cirque du soleil show? well 1stly, i think that in the long run, i wouldnt really want that kind of life. sacrificing all their younger years training and training for an act. not to mention, moulding their body for the act. ever wondered how come they've all got 'soft' bones and flattened breasts? i read somewhere that they have to purposely restrict growth such that it doesnt get in the way of their act. if u noticed, all acrobats are streamlined. or most, good ones at least. but imagine. the standing ovation after every show. the crowd's applauses and cheers. the satisfaction of exhibiting your talent in the art form. the experience. the strong bonds forged between your fellow circus family during all that travelling and living life together. oh yes, it is a different kind of life that we can only imagine. ps. with regards to my previous post, do take it with a pinch of salt. xin yi is not normally distressed. NORMALLY. i jus hav to let it all out, and then i'm fine.
mum's really worried bout me going overseas. and because of that, she's arguing unreasonably and more frequently with my dad. and me. especially.
then dad and i had an argument just now. no actually we were talking nicely about reassuring mum, until the topic about God set in. it started, and then it snowballed.
i doubt i'll be able to get baptised before i go overseas. ppl keep asking me to ask my dad, ask my dad. seriously. stop pushing me. i mean i appreciate your concern and all. i really do. and i dun even mind that uncle chong beng keeps reminding me that we need pianists because yes i'm eager to play for church. but u guys dun know what has been going on behind close doors. i said i would wait till i'm 21 then, and i dun see why it should change because if i keep to my word, surely he would keep to his. there has been this unspoken contract since we last 'talked' about it. and asking him too many times would render it unimportant and make him not liable to keep his part of the contract.
but seriously i dun see why it would matter. does it matter? can someone knock some sense into me why it would matter? cos my train of thought is that even if i die now, the bible says that i would go to heaven. it doesnt matter if you're baptised or not. (and i clearly rmb yap was the 1st one to tell me that cos somehow long ago i apparently thot that u had to be baptised to go to heaven ;p)
and yes tjow. u were very curious as to what i actually write in my diary. when i already have a blog. well lets say this post would be what usually goes into my diary. sometimes i dun wish to affect ppl around me too much with my downs in life. and well. some things are better left unsaid. no matter what ppl say.
plus this is what i write when i'm too sad. its really sadistic. i've warned u. come stab me here! oh not enough ah? nah stab here. here. here. what still not enough?! oh that wound heal already. nah can re-stab. should be able to take it one. huh u still..?! erm that part still healing. going to be a tad too painful. er but if you want..
now u see why i dun post these up. point made? hhahhaa.
this IS the age where part time is a full time affair.
wah i worked from 3 -1130pm today. very shacked. luckily can sleep in tmr. yeah i'm quite contented to type short posts nowadays =) i begin to see that blogs are so narcissistic i shant delight in going on about myself anymore.
but i must say they do let me divulge the interesting things i've learn. like today, i learnt that waitressing isnt that no-brainer. much attention is paid to detail esp when setting up posh banquets. apart from the arrangement of cutlery, did u know that if you arrange forks on their side you must put them facing the left? (for the simple reason that diners would not have to turn their fork close to 180degrees.. hmmm.. simple? not if you didnt think about it) its these fine details that amuse me.
hmmm then again, i dun think i would continue to be amused. so i've sent in a resume for a 9-5 job. its to organise vacation discovery camps for primary school kids. sounds really fun rite? hoping to get it. but for now, its still pour and twist (ppl who waitress/waiter, i think you would know what i mean).
whee... my last TEEN bdae. thanks darling sihuan, sweet sheryl, hyper zhen, yilin, jinghao, rebec, steph, xueting, scandalous tash (yep u indeed were the 1st, but tts cos u msged b4 my bdae even started!! haha), deb, tjow, wan kheong, andrew, nat (who msged me at 12midnight blatantly asking me not to flatter myself cos he din stay up to wish me - he jus couldnt slp.. typical nat fashion), ash (who surprised me with his sms cos i dun even hav his number), yap, abriel, alvin, josh, jas, wendy, nancy zk n elisha =), eunice, dod, camy, phebs... all u ppl for remembering my bdae and showering me with smses, phone calls, email greetings and what nots! u guys have made me feel very special in one way or another. yeps thats the main purpose of this post. so now everybody noes who have made this 19 yr old gal very happy on her last official bdae in singapore b4 she graduates =)