28.3.06
oh no.
sad. i jus took my ipod out of my bag and realised tt its v scratched. like alot alot of small small surface scratches. its only a wk old! i din put it in a pouch or anything but i did put it in a compartment of its own. dun get why it still got scratched. sad.
n i cant upload vids to the ipod!! wats a vid ipod useful for if it doesnt support almost all vid files except mp4 files!!! apple is always in conflict wif other windows progs. i can use it as a hard disk tho cos its 60gb. v useful eh!! now i jus hav to get over the scratches. hmm. shall get smth to cover it up, hide the mess. heh.
gtg get back to studying. i'm planning to mug today cos SOME other ppl are sooo stressing me out wif their incredulous knowledge of bio info all at the tips of their fingers. gross. anw, it jus means xin yi will mug, even if it means having to skip potluck where ppl plan to feed her gd stuff n fatten her up. intentions are well and greatly appreciated (except for the fattening up part)! but xin yi will not relent unless she finishes wat she set out to complete.
my 1st site visit to a hospital will be tmr. -excited- but after tt we've to complete a 2500 word essay assignment. fun always comes with a downside.
i fluttered by;
12:55 PM
26.3.06
my 1st night out.
PFE: PERFECT FRIDAY EVENING
where? station hotel @ prahran
when? friday 24 mar 8pm
who? all monash med students wow it was quite an experience. i actually liked the place - the ambience was quite gd, nicely furnished and not shady. best of all, there was no smoke! i hate being a passive smoker. the place was divided into 2 sections, one had large screens showing an ongoing footy match, while the other had a dance floor n disco lights and all. but overall it felt more like a pub, cos no one was dancing. it was really crowded on the dance floor tho cos all the med students chose to hang out there. but we din like crowds, and so we went in and literally walked one round and then out, saying our hi's to the ppl we recognise. we then went to the less crowded and less rowdy side to have drinks and chat.
joshua introduced us to jaegarbommer, this local drink, which i must say was really really nice. we had to drop this smaller cup into the larger one of redbull and scull it. it was really sweet. the drink, and the gesture ;p thanks josh! then we had a tequila lime shot and jonathon taught us the proper way to drink it. lick (salt), drink (shot), savour (lime). tt was ok. tried a gin tonic n tt was ok too. nothing fantastic. but the last shot for the ride back was fabulous. called the blowjob shot. and it tasted really good. we had to drink it without using our hands too, and tt was tricky and interesting at the same time ;p
i was glad that we managed to meet up with some m2s and ask them questions. they did ask us to enjoy our 1st yr. yr 2 is much much more hardcore they say, what with lessons from 9-5 everyday. die la, that happens in uni even with us having to self study and do research?!
anw, the gd thing about melbourne is that cabs are really expensive and while trains run until 12midnight, buses run till 8pm only. thus one cant venture too far or till too late either. keeps us 'tamed' i feel, somehow. but then, feeling not tipsy at all (i think i either hav a lousy or super effective liver - my medical knowledge is still not there yet) we went to deakin hall for round 2. played the shoulder game, in-between and heart attack. derrick supplied the drinks and boy was he eager to make us drunk! i must say malibu (rum + coconut) shots are nice tho but oh gosh jack daniel's really really bad. burns ur throat! mixing drinks made it better tho. we had malibu with sprite, rum with coke and jack daniel's with sprite.
and anw, if tt sounded like alot of liquor to u i must say tt i did get abit dizzy but somehow i was energetic enough to go online after i returned back to my hall at 3am! (oh n dun worry, i din travel back alone. being the gentlemen that they are :) johnathon n mj escorted me n jas all the way back to our hall) and no i wasnt torturing myself, i actually wasnt slpy yet. chatted on msn until 430am before heading to bed and then.. guess what. i woke up at 930am and couldnt sleep anymore! alcohol does have an 'adverse' effect on me - i sleep less! what's all the nonsense about hangovers and sleeping in. haha.
and did i mention i felt like i had to make up for lost time and thus spent the morning reading my notes? woohoo. i think i shld go out more often because the scenario is as such - if i dun, i chat online anyway n nothing gets done at all. whereas if i do, the guilty conscience and motivation is there when i get back. haha gosh. i think i'm wierd.
koped this from jas' site. check out the guy in the backgrd, he's funny! 
as for the afternoon, i basically played interhall table tennis and then later tennis in the night with the usual j gang. we still cooked dinner after tt and by the time i got back it was late n i was super tired. but i had to skype with my dad cos he's leaving for US for 2 wks today! its so not fun talking when u'd rather b sleeping, but i did try to put on a smile still. ppl say it can be heard over the phone :) so this is the thing, i was worried tt i wouldnt b able to wake up at 7 even tho i was a light sleeper so i got ethan to giv me a morning call. but guess wat, in the end HE overslept!! haha i couldnt believe it. i thot i had forgotten to use daylight savings or smth.
anw i bet i'll hav a really gd nights sleep today. slp deprived the last 2 days. moreover, i had a tennis competition today and am later playing for the table tennis interhall finals. i want to cook dinner too. gross, i cant believe i actually want to cook dinner but yes i do! beehoon in soup, with xiaobaicai and mince meat and carrot, and fish toufu and probably an egg. yum. jus throw everything in anw.
i fluttered by;
2:20 AM
24.3.06
my room.
for all close friends who've been dying to see how small my room is (and how prison-celled it looks like), this is the post to check out. i've done my best to make it as comfy as possible already tho, and i think i've done a gd job. :) esp with the purchase of a comforter and nice bedsheets today. i still need to get a beanie to put my ipod in tho (i'm afraid of scratching it on the table - u noe how it is wif new things, u jus wanna try ur best to protect them INITIALLY), and a pouch to carry it around with. *hint hint. grr i need either a new wallet or a coin pouch too. and a coaster. hmms shld go budget shopping sometime soon.
look at how much food i've got. who was predicting i'll put on weight?
my medical books by far. 
my postcard decorated board.
the untidy wardrobe where i hide all my 'skeletons' ie. crumpled clothes.
the ingenious drying line i set up.
my bedside decorated with winnie the pooh magic stickers :)
my ikea holder. with dearest hl's eeyore in it.
my cosy bed with its new comforter (plus pics of loved ones on the wall)! love it lots lots.
these are a few of my favourite things. *hums*
i fluttered by;
4:41 PM
22.3.06
the presumptious photo post.
ok finally! accumulated pics of whats been going on. my life looks happening eh. keyword: looks ;p
transitional wkend camp (penguin parade)
potluck @ robert's hall
jeff's outrageous 'support team singapore' attire (taken on the day when singapore matched australia at the finals)
i fluttered by;
12:57 PM
20.3.06
RU4 RU486.
this is reeeaally disturbing. imagine reading an article about abortion and the abortion pill RU486. the pill is not available in australia, and one would think that the writer would advocate for the permissible use of the drug only under strict legislations. however the writer's arguments swing to the other extreme of the spectrum. in consideration of uni students, the writer argues that 'currently student income support levels are barely adequate for a person to live and raise a child whilst continuing to study' and 'the option of surgical abortion is traumatic and painful, whilst time consuming and highly inconvenient due to the many preliminary appointments and examinations one has to undergo (which would disrupt their studies and tutorial timetables)'.. hence the drug shld be made available, over the counter, preferably.
wow, what a shallow basis. i'm disgusted. really disgusted. if u'd read the article i'm sure u'd hav been too! the writer makes it out that alot of uni students are having problems with unwanted pregnancies and.. the best thing we could do for them would be to make their abortions less painful? what about teaching them abstinence, i say? or if u think tt its too late, tt its already their culture (or in their veins - but tts only if u prefer to believe the genetic nature of medicine), then dun let them get away easy - let them experience the painful consequences. if not they'll never learn. heh ok. enough of tt. i was getting all hyped up about all this talk, but i figured tt i've got to stop. a blog's meant to be lighthearted and cheery, a blissful and easy read :) so anw. more stuff bout my wk... yesterday i did the most ingenious thing ever. was craving so much for the marks and spencer choc digestives tt my mum used to buy regularly for me, tt i took the digestives i had n spread nutella all over them. tt was pretty awesome, i must say. even better than marks n spencers! and i had timtam too. yum. i guess when u're overseas and u dun really get gd meals, u tend to spoil urself with 'desserts'. tts how u gain weight over here i guess. not cos portions are big. tts a myth :) dun worry. i get my daily servings of greens and fruits still (see below). 
n i cooked my own dinner again today (speghetti with mushrooms carrot and mince beef in tomato sauce). din expect it to turn out well but fortunately it did!! was sooo happy when i tasted it and it was yummy. makes cooking worth the while. anw i cooked 2 portions and am planning to eat the other half for lunch tmr :) yay i feel accomplished. zero dollar days? (a term this monash fren called jeff gave to days where u dun spend a single cent) no problemato.
i fluttered by;
8:04 PM
19.3.06
THE heavy topic.
'falling in love is just that - falling
out of control of your heart and your soul'
- forbidden city musical
how untrue. or wait. it may be true. you either fall into a bed of roses. or a deep abyss.
a new stage of life, new friends, and one thing happens. you see ppl getting together, everywhere. no doubt in our own exclusive group, you also see and hear stories of long term romances, which i find really sweet. but which is also besides the point. sometimes u jus wonder why ppl get involved so soon they catch u by surprise. one could rationalise that a couple can always start off by trying, but then again without that foundation of friendship, it would only make the r/s more likely to fail. because when u're a couple, certain expectations have to be met. and without knowing each other well enough to know the other half's expectations, would only result in arguments and mutual disappointment.
you tell me 'oh its no big deal. ppl get together and then fall out. happens all the time.' but i'd say that something bad would happen to you and ur bf/gf. a bond that was meant to be permanent was treated carelessly, like a throwaway. at the very least, a first failed relationship will make your next relationship more likely to fail, because you've laid down some tracks you'll tend to follow. you can break away, but its harder. there'll be less 1sts, and for all you know, you might even start comparing your relationships, getting discontent. its just like sex, some say. if u've never had sex b4 marriage, u'll never hav anything to compare against. and thus it will definitely always be awesome and mindblowing :) so its ur choice.
and i'll tell u a very good reason why its so precious to be in a relationship. its not because one can't live without the other (that's just romantic delusions). but precisely because one can definitely exist alone, and yet, despite that fact, one chooses to share his or her life with another. love is great, but its even greater when we as individuals exercise our free will to choose whom we want to share our lives with, rather than living a life based on necessity or convenience.
do you think living dangerously is fun? it is exhilarating, i know for sure. not to mention someone once told me, if u're not living on the edge, you're taking up too much space.
i fluttered by;
11:38 PM
16.3.06
the commonwealth games 2006.
::a display of human excellence, elite achievement and the pinnacle of human performance::
how perfect, it to be held in melbourne just when i am here for study. so of course, the spontaneous bunch of us singmed students headed down to the city to watch the opening ceremony in real time, live on big screen.
i have no regrets. the atmosphere was there, what with the humongous onlooking crowd - you could feel the vibe of anticipation. the fireworks were great, the whole display lasted very long and was almost everywhere - in the stadium, along the yarra river, and from the rooftops of buildings. not to mention we were barely 10m away from where the fireworks sprung up, and to be that close it only meant that u had to lift your head to admire the spectacle - akin to little kids when they gaze up in awe.
i've always loved fireworks, and these were the best. apart from the wondrous splendor exuberated from the multitude of colours derived from the fireworks themselves, maybe the setting did have a little to do with it. u lose yourself amongst the crowd, feeling small and cold (literally) in a foreign land.
after firework gazing, we went to crown hotel to play laserquest. today, the frugal bunch of us really splurged. after all, how often do we travel to the city? :) anw it was all worth it. we had so much fun! and of course, that fun included the HEART-TO-HEART talk the GUYS initiated in jonathon's hse. you wouldnt imagine it. this is the only grp i've ever been in where the truth or dare game is such a failure it morphs into truth or truth and then eventually into a sharing session where everyone is more than willing to have a go! oh my gosh. but oh well we still had fun drinking rum cum pepsi (not a bad concortion i would say), staging a makeshift ktv session using laptops, as well as.. the HEART-TO-HEART talks ;p ended up only slping for a mere 1/2hr before we had to wake up at 6am to travel back to monash for our 8am tutorial.
whoa. i think we jus had our 1st nightshift training. or maybe 24hr shift training. cos there was still another tutorial after the 1st (and we had presentations in both), and i only slept 45mins in between the two, BUT I STILL KICKED ASS quoting melanie, who said that she almost wanted to clap when i was done. whee! :) i admit that i'm not a good presenter but it was probably the fact that i did somehow manage to convey to the audience the depth of thought i put into analysing the question, as well as back up my topic sentence with strong supporting evidence (and yes, i could go deep when answering the question because it was the opinionated Q2, which when answered like i did - 'as much as the acts try to be reasonable and fair, they are still largely arbitrary', could turn out to be much like a debate).
had dinner at mess hall. i think i'm eating rather unhealthily. i really wouldnt actually know. u see i have either bread with butter/peanut butter or cornflakes for breakfast, lunch on campus and then dinner at the mess hall or in my room. in my room i'll make instant soups and a plate of salad. only rarely do i cook (tho i intend to do more of that). but can someone tell me whether eating meat and vege on alternate days (tho overall getting ur balanced diet) is actually considered healthy? doesnt really seem so to me but ordering 2 dishes is jus too much for me to finish while cooking 2 side dishes would take such a long time i'd have starved to death b4 i even get to consume my food. haha ok tts quite an exaggeration but u get the point. i'm L-A-Z-Y, and i have a small stomach (which somehow always has space for timtam and wasabi peas regardless). what to do?! 
[fireworks video coming up!]
i fluttered by;
11:37 PM
14.3.06
i think i'm thinking too much :)
lots of random thoughts recently. from things i experience around me, artsy lectures on sociology, shows i watch (especially grey's anatomy and house - medical series), articles i read, etc etc.
i'm beginning to think (think, again) that perhaps this is what university is about. for the most of us, university would be the only time we are asked to really think. we are now at a stage where we can think critically and form our own opinions - well informed ones. we are at a stage where our maturity and yet certain childlike qualities leads us to form our own set of values - a good balance of practicality and yet idealistic in its own ways. and no doubt this set of values, would eventually define us.
while in the workforce we'll be instructed to get the job done economically and in as little time as possible without asking too many questions, as well as maintain focus by only doing things that are related to one's job, we as students have to thus do our lifetime's worth of thinking now, and embrace all opportunities that present themselves at university, isnt it? i shall thus further appreciate being asked to think creatively, in new dimensions and question everything.
i'm thinking,
if life's so hard already, why do we bring more trouble on ourselves, why the masochistic need to hit the self-destruct button? because what does not kill you only makes you stronger? or because it feels so good when you eventually stop tormenting yourself?
i'm thinking,
sometimes not knowing is better. because what you dont know wont hurt you.
i'm thinking,
someone once said, that even the worlds biggest failure, even the most intractable mistake, beats the hell out of never trying. i'm still trying very hard to see the truth in this.
knowing is better than wondering. -benjamin franklin
i fluttered by;
8:13 PM
7.3.06
home-cooked food!
these few days have been quite eventful. been stiring up quite a brew - in the kitchen - literally.
1st was the potluck at melanie's hse. she's a 1st yr singapore med student too. she lives off campus in this really neat and cosy HOUSE!! i'm so going to move out next yr. its so tempting, cos the place is really pretty. and spacious. and new. the stark contrast of the halls of residence. however, the one demerit is that one needs to be conscious of the amt of water and electricity used in rented hses. whereas in halls the utility bills are all covered.
anw the grocery shopping in the morning proved fruitful. we (jas, ling n i) bought ingredients for the potluck and churned out 2 yummy dishes: mushroom in cream sauce, and a wholesome carrot, corn and porkrib soup. the former was a sellout, while the latter was so nice and sweet and heartwarming it felt like i was right back at home and savouring mum's cooking. aww. homesick no more :)
what with the rest of the dishes that the others contributed, we had so much variety of good food! i sense some great chefs in the making. haha. maybe after 5 yrs circumstance will have them change profession. the circumstance being us demanding more great food ;p
a little trivia: the guys washed up! yay. how gentlemanly. love them love them. but anw gals cook, guys wash. seems only fair eh :)
grp pics!
played some drinking games after dinner, in which i realised how cunning ethan is!! whoa.. now we know whats beneath his unassuming demeanor :) but no worries guy, u're nice. thanks for helping me with stuff before i even ask each time! oh n johnathon is another tricky one, but more subtly. haha, girl power tried to fight back. but was not nearly on par. anw, all in all it was good clean fun (which i'm sure is the entire opposite of medcamp), after which we all proceeded home sober.
well, i'm so glad we organised the potluck! suggested it when i thought we shld all have our own fun during the wkend when the medcamp (which we all din wanna go for) was held. see.. now we have totally no regrets about not gg for medcamp!! how simple. not to mention we are aus$150 richer (yeah, medcamp fee is THAT expensive. siao rite. think 2/3s of the $$ goes to booze).
we SHOULD have more potlucks!!
i cooked again today. with 2 other friends, our concortions included pasta, meegoreng, creamy mushroom and chicken, ham omlette, and brocolli and carrots in oyster sauce. not bad eh for a start. i still prefer gg to the mess hall to eat tho, its so much less time and energy consuming! we cook to save money tho. ingredients are cheaper. and the dishes are more nutritious too.
we sat down around in my room to eat, before watching memoirs on my lappie. finally get to watch it. -clears throat-
oh yar, i'll post pictures of my room soon. its kinda cosy and getting to be more live-able, what with me buying nice things to decorate it and organise my stuff. still need a nice bedcover tho. n probably nice drawings and pictures to go on the walls and doors. hmms i shall explore the possibilities. working on limited resources here tho.
n 2ndly, i went to church on sun. at ebenezer bible presbytarian church. its all the same God, but their style of worship is a far cry from my home church in singapore. some of their doctrines are different too. till sometimes i wonder why interpretations of God's intention can be so different. i wonder whether i'll b able to adjust to the difference, because if i dun i'll go back to citylife. an impt decision to make, because its gg to be my church for at least 5 yrs. and i'll need a strong support community here to b able to continue to grow spiritually.
more info about the mundane yet more interesting parts of my life. after church, i went to play tennis, had a tennis club bbq, and then later did my laundry. now i realise that wkends pass v fast, esp when u do routine hsekeeping stuff like grocery shopping and laundry. sigh. oh well. the price you pay to be independent :)
i fluttered by;
10:03 PM
3.3.06
one-liners.
u know how it is sometimes when out of a whole night of chitchatting with a grp of frens, a certain random lighthearted sentence rings so startlingly true that you bring it home after the entire night and it just keeps playing in your head over and over again? well that happened to me last night, tho i've yet to blog about it.
'well isnt love all about stepping out of your comfort zone..' true, it really is. maybe thats why it makes us so vulnerable. maybe thats why it hurts so bad when it fails. maybe thats why its such a wonderful feeling when it doesnt.
but would there ever be a point when you feel incapable of loving anymore. because your heart had been given away and shattered and never be full and perfect and lovely anymore. because any person whom you now give your heart to would be receiving something second-rated. and because you wouldnt want that to happen.
maybe putting it that way is too altruistic. at some point of time, you also start to lose sight of why you shld wanna find someone to love and be loved by. friends seem to be great enough. friends cant cut you that deep.
u know, its nice to think that you'll marry the very 1st person you ever liked. but more often than not, it doesnt happen. the thing is, why should i fall into majority? do i want to fall into majority? i just put on 'goodbye my lover' and read your letter and cry. i dun even noe why i do it. i shld be sick of wet-pillow nights by now. but somehow, crying makes me feel better, it makes me feel more humane. its like this small reflex that reminds you of your capacity for emotion. of that welling in your heart. and of that beautiful soul. yes its true. its the only time when you can look terribly ugly, and still feel beautiful. very often we are told not to cry, or we forbid ourselves to, for fear of being labelled overly emotional. its much unlike times when we were younger where we would wail at any displeasure. but sometimes, just sometimes, we let ourselves free in the solitude of our own room. we tell ourselves its ok to cry, and we let our inner child take over.
in those times, we relive the meaning of life.
i fluttered by;
11:58 PM
2.3.06
of tutorials and piano lessons.
i woke up at 11am today. was watching harold and kumar till late yesterday at a friend's room. jus cos the guys kept saying that one of our friends looked like harold. it was ok la, not as funny as american pie. anw i only had a 2 hr tutorial at 1pm for the whole day so i could sleep in. i'm still trying to get used to the 'slackness' of tutorials here. todays tutorial was about sociology and we did some unusual activities like bowing to each other and figuring out how the bow-er and bow-ie felt. most ppl felt more uncomfortable being the bow-ie, which was naturally linked to the fact that we did not feel enough royal-ness to be bowed at. fair enough. then we drew images of a doctor-patient relationship. HMMMM. din discover much from the drawings except that the girls drew female doctors while the guys drew male ones. how sexist. anw ppl loved my drawings. hee.
anw i actually had cake for lunch. how unhealthy. on the walk back, met some of the malaysian friends who jio-ed us to go play badminton. i even went to the gym after tt. my legs are so gg to ache tmr. i played 3.5hrs of tennis yesterday, moreover. i think i exercised enough for the whole wk :) anw after tt, went to eat pizza at a place nearby with all the other singaporeans. not bad at all. n cheap too cos we split.
played some piano at the music room in my hall when we came back. sorry abriel. i've got a new shifu for over here in australia! haha. hopefully he can teach me a little something so i will be more 'teachable' when i come back to singapore. and hopefully at the end of 5 yrs i'll be damn zai already. haha. big dreams eh. anw these ppl are so stereotypical la. i merely said tt i liked theory exams better and they suddenly linked it to rj ppl being the 'like written exams' sort. i mean, u obviously like stuff u can score at. and no, i'm not an exam person. tts why i quit piano! AND still continue playing leisurely after tt. i mean, i reallly like piano. its jus that the graded exam format was jus so constricting. all one practices were classical pieces which one din really noe how to appreciate. give me richard clayderman any day and i'll thank you lots.
i fluttered by;
8:06 PM