2.6.05
medicine and me.
'if getting into medicine makes us both so angry, i rather not try at all!'
its just so wierd. everything about medicine seems so wrong at this point of time. the fact that i've tried my best. the fact that i have to go overseas. and MAINLY the fact that me and my dad keep quarrelling over the applications. this is the 1st time he has shouted at me day after day. i know that he is even more anxious than me, and has put in alot of effort to get the help of agents who would 'take care of me' as i proceed with my applications. but he was overseas when i applied and i did follow the instructions he left for me, only that my decisions were involved and the outcome is not what he wanted. he shouted at me through the phone, through the long-distance call. more shouting when he came home. i broke down. my mum tried assuring and comforting me saying, 'you do it your way'. i tried to smile. i'm just so tired. tired of trying.
but i must not give up. i must not let defeat set in. yet.
you know what, i want to believe that.
i fluttered by;
11:40 PM
