15.9.05
i ACTUALLY quit my job.
this post is dedicated to berating my boss. (tho i know dedications are supposed to be positive) but i really need to do this. so that once i let it all out, work will be more bearable. eh no. i forgot. i've already quit my job.
i myself cant believe what guts i have. telling him like at the end of today that i'm not coming anymore. just like that. but then again, things have been jus building up waiting silently like steam in a kettle ready to throw the lid off anytime. i was going to quit sooner or later. but i din expect it to be so soon. now looking back, i realised that every day put up with my boss jus obliterates my confidence and morale, bit by bit. destroying the good thing the Lord's been building up in me over the years. its a good thing i quit.
i tell you. my boss is a slave driver. he calls you up when you are having lunch. he asks you to work OT last minute. he chases you to produce results in unreasonable time frames. and did i tell you he's an unmarried 30-smth year old man who works round the clock? (and i dun hav anything against unmarried 30 yr olds.. but i jus feel that he's the kind who jus cares bout money and thus the marital status) he keeps telling me that the ppl under him work until 2-3 am everyday, just to motivate me and prove that he's a big boss with great authority (he actually said that, and added that ppl go weak in their knees when he starts scolding). i pity all those working under him. he just reduces you to nothingness. and the thing was. he was getting to me. i know i shouldnt have let it but it jus did. i couldnt help it. he made it seem so true that sometimes i wondered if my brain was giving way. but then as i thought more about it, i realised he was usually contradicting himself. like saying i hav no initiative. and then when i take the initiative to ask him whether i should proceed with a task, (because he says everything has to go through him, he wants FULL CONTROL, right down to the fullstops and commas i put down in a draft) he asks me not to bother him with trivial stuff. oh n when i told him that i quit, he said that i always had a reason when i did something wrong. and hence inferred that ppl like me dun learn from mistakes and thus wun go far. n so i tried explaining that yes i did hav a reason for doing whatever i did at that pt of time and hence everytime he says i did smth wrong i would pt out the reason. but that doesnt mean i dun accept his correction! please, dun tell me he expects me to jus go yes yes yes. then he'd probably say that i jus blindly do work without thinking through the process. he can go earn his millions a month for all i care. (yep tts also what he told me, he earns millions) please, there's more to life than money, u know what i mean? i bet he doesnt. ok now i feel better. more capable of rational thought. hmmm i'm thinking whether this would constitute as slander. no i guess not. cos i'm very sure i'm quoting in context.
i fluttered by;
10:15 PM
