17.2.06
leaving...on a jetplane.
she wun cry, she's strong. she wun cry, she's strong.
the words playing in my head helped, even if it were not true. cos the truth was, i did not want to cry. nonetheless, when all were out of sight, tears did fall. they were merely waiting for my own back to be turned, merely holding out for a brave front.
i was extremely grateful for that whispered prayer while we hugged, and for your courage to step out. your crisp letter was still in my hand. and on board the plane, i braced myself to read it. you write beautifully, you really do. i never knew that. and while each sentence struck me with alarming truth and the paragraphs mounted in sentiments, i could only sob in reply. this was too much, and i had no capacity for any other letter. it is done. i engrossed myself in movies, i must admit. but along the rest of the flight and as well as after touchdown i did try to open and read a few other letters. but pardon me if i say i havent read all of them. every new letter just overwhelms me and i realised i could only take one at a time. i think it would do me no good to torture myself further anw. slowly does it. well anw i cant really say i'm homesick yet cos i've been getting REALLY good chinese food, been sleeping at the hotel suite with my parents instead of my dorm, been around singaporeans (lots of them, dad's contacts), and of course still have my parents with me.
anw, i'm typing all this on borrowed time. getting free internet access at the business centre in the hotel cos i flirted with the concierge guy gary! haha. as if. when will my powress ever work.
and ps. i'll blog bout my positive experiences in melb next time. i've been having quite some fun meeting new ppl here actually. so resolution: not to dwell on depressing stuff from the next post onward. remind me if i do.
my last words, i miss all of you alot alot.
ok thats it. enough.
i fluttered by;
8:45 PM
