I know I've talked about this to you Ethan..and I do understand where you are coming from..but just let me be emotional and unreasonable for once here..Let me vent whatever I have in my heart on this blog..
This pleasant 83 year old lady came into the lecture theatre, saying how lucky she was to be able to meet up and talk to young people like us...She calls us the people of the future..She knows that all of us are going to be doctors in the future..and she tells us that we have to be considerate, kind, and we must help people..and she started tearing..She tells us that our hearts have to be kind and good..And after some coaxing from our tutor, she began to tell us the story of how she and her husband were treated at the hospital..
Her husband had a really bad cough years ago...and one day he coughed so hard that the capillaries in the retina burst and he bled into the back of his eye...He was sent to hospital and after the doctor had a look at him...He said that he would become blind if his bleeding continued...Her husband had a heart condition..and he was prescribed warfarin to prevent clotting...so it was harder for the bleeding in the eye to stop..and to save the eye, they had to take him off warfarin..It was a huge risk for the doctor for saving his eye could possibly cost him his life..What would you choose in this situation?Save his eye?Or protect his heart?His sight means everything to him...After living for 70+ years of seeing evrything that he loved, what would it be if you chose to protect his heart instead of his life?In fact, it would be torturous for him..Yes you did him a favour by preserving his life...But you have just damned him into a lifetime of eternal darkness until the day he dies...Are you able to live with that?After much persistence from her, the doctor finally decided to take him off warfarin to save his sight..
Later on in the life of her husband, he suffered a heart attack while driving...The moment he felt sick, he pulled over by the side, walked out of the car, lay down by the pavement, and managed to tell one lady to call the ambulance just before he passed out..Interesting huh?The human's basic instinct to want to survive..While he was being rescued by the medical team, she was sitting there in the corridor..She told the nurses that if there was any information they needed, what he likes to eat, how he would like to be treated etc..she would be in the corridor..But everyone just ignored her...The medical team continued to do what they thought was right..and she sat there...being thought of as a nuinsance...That she was in the way of what the medical team was doing...Is this the kind of respect we give to the elderly?They may not know anything about medicine....but they do know one thing best...that the patient is her husband..and is a human being...not just a heart that just been through a myocardiac infarction...
He was being sent to the ICU after the operation and she wanted to sit there next to him...She wanted to be with him..but the nursing staff were distraught..."She cannot be there!!She'll interfere with our work!!What good is it gonna do with her sitting there?"For heaven's SAKE...CANT YOU JUST LET THE ELDERLY COUPLE WHO HAVE BEEN MARRIED FOR 56 YRS BE TOGETHER?Damn those nurses who uttered those harsh words...What if you were in her shoes?What would you feel?I dare to put my life on the line to say that none of you would take it easy and say "Oh..the nursing staff are excellent here...they'll take gd care of him..." because you are damn F***ing heartless if you say that...In the beginning, I've always thought of the world as a warm and nice place to live in..but hearing such stories just makes rips my heart into many many pieces...What has this world come to?But still, I'd cling to that thought like a 4 yr old child clings onto his sleeping blanket...Its only helps to make this world easier to live in..that there is still hope in this cold cold environment..
How about put yourself in the shoes of her husband?You find out sth's wrong with you, then you try to find help to survive..Then after a period of unconsciousness you wake up, disorientated, in a foreign environment with tubes all over your body and not a single familiar face around...how would you feel?Lonely?Vulnerable?Lost?Whatever...The ICU staff didnt care at all...She was allowed to stay only after a doctor ordered the nurses to..the nurses there didnt manage to get her out of there..so they did sth different..they were mean to her...
Life went on in the ICU and all dignity was stripped from her husband..he wasnt allowed to do anything...however,one fine day, he asked whether he could shave himself..at that point, he was blind (for some reason she didnt mention..)...in no way would anyone allow him to do tt..but one kind-hearted nurse allowed it...she brought a mirror and a shaver...and he took it...and started shaving..except tt he wasnt looking at the mirror...well..the nurses' face turned into varying shades of white as he proceeded to the neck area etc...but in the end, he managed to shave himself w/o cutting himself..proving that he wasnt useless at all..CHEW ON THAT YOU PEOPLE!!!
One day in the ICU, his pulmonary artery ruptured..and he bled into his chest cavity...Blood pressure dropping..Heart rate is irregular...He's breathless and in suffering...and in those last moments..he said, "Goodbye my dear..." She cried...In the operating theatre, his blood spurted evrywhere...he needed litres of blood poured into him through his veins...and the surgeons managed to save him..but he had to be put on life support...After the medical team analysed the situation, they reckoned that he would be a vegetable for life...and then they told her that they are going to switch off the life support...56 years of being husband and wife..and she was going to lose him just like that...She begged for them not to turn off life support...She said, "When we took our marriage oath, we swore to be together in good and in bad times...I dont want you to flick that switch..." She cried again..and she made me tear too...That was how much he mattered to her..It struck a chord deep in my heart...It made me tell myself I should not be as heartless as them, life should not be taken lightly...
So he was left on life support...and one night, the nurse went off for a break in the cafeteria and another nurse stood in for her..then the nurse went around to do what was routine..and when she came to her husband, she took a syringe filled with Novocain and wanted to inject it into his tubes..She stopped the nurse from giving it to him...telling her that it will kill him..The nurse insisted that she knows what she's doing and she will not be killing him...The old lady then reminded her to check his papers and across the top of the page it was clearly written that he is allergic to Novocain, and pleaded to her not to give him the injection..The nurse was adamant and then again said that she knows what she is doing....Then the nurse told her that she didnt know anything about medicine...WHAT A MEAN REMARK TO MAKE TO HIS WIFE!!!I hate her I-know-it-all attitude...Luckily for her, a doctor and a nurse came in on time to see the commotion and her husband was spared from a possible anaphylactic shock that could end his life...And words reverberated in my head..it was what i heard while watching House MD..."In medicine we do not just screw up a patient...We make a mistake, people die...If you cant handle that thought then go choose another profession..."
However, that wasnt all...she went to complain to her colleagues..and then the next day..all the nurses were against her....WHAT AUDACITY!!! And when that wasnt enough to chase her away from the ICU, the nurse went on to complain to the doctor...I cant believe that we have such people in this noble profession...
Luckily for her, many specialists attended to her case..and the best around Melbourne were called to come and help...and eventually, his life was saved...He's still here today...talking to another group, in another lecture theatre..And very happy with his wife's decision...
This story made me realise that there are far more important things in life than what we are concerned about now...BGR, groceries, exams, studies...I'm sorry my dear...i'll have to admit that I might have more feelings for the patient than i have feelings for you...i wont blame you if you choose to leave me if you feel that i do not have space in my life for you...please understand that this is what i chose medicine for..i cant always be there for you...when my duty calls..i'll go to wherever i'm needed..and that is the same reason why i told you that you have to be stronger in will...
This story struck me hard...so hard i cldnt concentrate during that last lecture...Its not just about how cold this world is..The thing that strikes me the hardest is that THOSE DAMNED THOUGHTS THAT THE NURSES HAD....I HAD THEM TOO WHEN I WAS A MEDIC....I had that same uncaring attitude when I was overwhelmed by the multitudes of people who came to seek medical attention...I feel so damn guilty now.. =(