4.9.06
love and lust.
this whole post actually materialized out of nowhere (or maybe the frontal lobe) while i was in the shower. so pardon me, if i were to ramble.
some people say that water clears your mind (and they say any kind, for that matter. i say to those people that the OTHER kind only makes you inebriated and deluded). apart from the sidetrack, this might be somewhat true because i had this whole train of thoughts just flowing naturally and making alot of sense.
what is the difference between passionate love and lust? sometimes the line is so thin especially when your mind is swirling with all the excitement of possibly finding 'the one'. we see people doing sweet things for each other, couples hand in hand or in warm embrace. a long hug coupled with passionate kisses between an elderly couple at the airport during departure/arrival is sweet to the third party's eye. a long hug coupled with passionate kisses between a young couple in say, the library, is unfortunately, defined as wrong. is it just social norms? or is it because the elderly couple's love has withstood the trial of time? would the young couple's actions be deemed acceptable and sweet depending on outcome - meaning if they got married and led a beautiful life together versus facing an ugly breakup? then again, who is to quantify love? in fact, who is to judge these people, just by their outward display of affection? for all you know, the young couple might have transcended the social circle norms to be with each other whereas the elderly couple's marriage might have been a marriage of convenience.
in this era, there are even more shades of grey. even marriage is not the ultimatum. quoting some disturbing statistics, in singapore some 6000 marriages ended in divorce in yr 2004. with such uncertainty looming ahead even in such an important commitment, it is no wonder ppl have grown indifferent. why wait? why look forward to 'happily ever after', when you can live in the here and now? the one you pledge your eternal love to might just leave you, now with even more probability. why then, save anything for her/him? (and by this point you would realise that this creates a vicious cycle - the less important things are to the couple, the more likely to divorce) everybody desires instant gratification, if not for the consequence, if not for the strike on our conscience and morality.
but of course, yet and still, in the deep dark corners of our hearts, we all know that a still small voice urges us to pursue our 'happily ever after' - our sweet tale to tell the children and grandchildren. what irony, the intrinsic wiring of our body (and i speak with such cynicism, but really i am not, so read on).
at the end of it all, we should all do what is right. not only for God, but also because we know that deep down in the recesses of our hearts, we do want to. and with that, i'm led back to my point that the main distinction between passionate love and lust is not based on actions, whether appropriate or not, or circumstance, but rather, intent. lust devours and wants, love gives, regardless. passionate love gives even more, uninhibitedly. but, so as not to tred into the waters of lust, we must all make very sure the love we're giving is pure and demands nothing in return. hmmm, maybe not nothing. but yes, give more than you take. tolerate more than you normally would. easy to say, as usual, but extremely hard to carry out. someone once told me that he finds himself much more intolerant when his gf disappoints him because he has certain expectations and is more emotionally dependent on her, but i think that is only an excuse. if you love the person, do be nice. and you'd find that she'd reciprocate ten-fold (of course, that's if she also loves you).
therefore, although i sometimes doubt whether i would fall in love passionately because i think i am one who needs time for love to flourish and grow, but in the case that i do (and yes, every girl wants to somehow be swept off her feet and romanced), i hope i'd remember my cause.
this probably applies to every girl and every hormone-enraged male out there too :)
ps. i think my posts revolve too much around schoolwork, medically related stuff, how i spent my time, nuances, God and love (although there probably isnt a distinction between the latter two because God IS love). so anw, i guess i'm determined to go read up on more intellectual stuff and update myself on current issues etc. this girl is not going to be self-absorbed, oblivious to the world around, anymore. for starters, check out this newsworthy link displaying how a dad's bond with his paralyzed son changed the world's view on man's limits and how much one can achieve. i think the setting is the US. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ryCTIigaloQ do prepare to shed a few tears. this is really emo material especially for those with broken families or whose dads simply do not seem to know how to care. its really much to do about love again, isnt it? -bigbigbigwidegrin-
i fluttered by;
1:44 AM
