Our lord never insists on having authority over us. He never says, "You will submit to me." No, he leaves us perfectly free to choose. But once His life has been created in me through His redemption, I instantly recognize His right to absolute authority over me. It is a complete and effective domination, in which I acknowledge that He is worthy (Rev 4:11). It is simply the unworthiness within me that refuses to bow down or to submit to one who is worthy. When I meet someone who is more holy than myself, and I don't recognize his worthiness nor obey his instructions for me, it is a sign of my own unworthiness being revealed. God teaches us by using these people who are a little better than we are; not better intellectually, but more holy.
God never insists on obedience, but when we truly see Him we will instantly obey Him. Obedience is only possible between people who are equals in their relationship to each other; like the relationship between father and son, not that between master and servant. Jesus showed this relationship by saying, "I and My Father are one" (John 10:30) "...though He was a Son, yet He learned obedience by the things which He suffered" (Heb 5:8). The Son was obedient as our Redeemer,
because He was the Son, not in order to become God's Son.