What looks like 'militant morality' to the opposite sex is partly the knowledge deep within a woman that she holds the key to the situation where a man's passions are involved. He will be as much of a gentleman as she requires and, when the chips are down, probably no more, even if he has strict standards of his own. He will measure her reserve, always testing the limits, probing. This is not necessarily because he wants to go as far as possible. It is sometimes from a confused sense of obligation, or even chivalry, to meet her expectations. I'm sure this is true, because men have told me so. Sometimes, bringing a girl home from a date, they say to themselves, 'Guess I've got to kiss her goodnight. Wish I didn't have to.' It is a relief when the girl lets him know she doesn't want him to. It can be a relief when she says no, even when he wants to kiss her, because he finds mystery in her, and mystery is both surprise and delight.
So guys will love me after this, but I must admit that maybe Elizabeth Elliot is right. "I was convinced that was what he wanted." Now we know better. As the supposedly more rational gender (haha ;p), we should take control of our situation and stop blaming the guys for our own pitfalls. "He persuaded/pressured/tricked me into it." Well, then he isn't that good a guy after all, but we could also do better to save the situation.
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Shall end off this discussion with a beautiful paragraph quote from the book about being in love.
Being in love is a good thing, but it is not the best thing. There are many things below it, but there are also things above it. You cannot make it the basis of a whole life. It is a noble feeling, but it is still a feeling. Now no feeling can be relied on to last in its full intensity, or even to last at all. In fact, the state of being in love usually does not last. But of course ceasing to be 'in love' need not mean ceasing to love. Love is a deep unity, maintained by the will and deliberately strengthened by habit; reinforced by the grace which both partners ask and receive from God. They can retain this love even when each would easily, if they allowed themselves, be 'in love' with someone else. 'Being in love' first moved them to promise fidelity: this quieter love enables them to keep their promise. It is on this love that the engine of marriage is run: being in love was the explosion that started it.